Life's A Bitch.. And So Am I

I keep forgetting that love isn't just a one way effort.. to make a relationship work,both parties have to put in the effort. You both have to care for each other,both have to make sacrifices for the other,even when you really don't want to.Love isn't easy,it can be real feckin' hard work at times but at the end of the day it's worth it.Usually anyway.

You probably expect me now to go on a rant now,maybe about how my other half doesn't care for me,or how he doesn't make any sacrifices and does what he wants all the time.Unfortunately it's me who's the bad guy in this scenario..

If this turns sour,which I hope to any God that will listen to me that it won't,then it will all be my fault.I've come to realise that I don't make any effort whatsoever.I don't make any sacrifices even when I can and should for him,I make him do everything.I'm always trying to get my own way,get pissed off at every single little thing and I'm fucking ashamed of myself.

How would I react if he treated me the same? I'd give him a good boot up the arse,I'll tell you that.But he does whatever I want,if it makes me happy.Some girls might turn around now and go "Well what the feck are you giving out about? Sounds like you've got the best of both worlds!"

Even if I do,I don't want it anymore,it's not fair.The same rules should apply to me in this relationship but for some reason I never follow them,not intentionally..well maybe a little..which is horrible and I just..ugh I just feel so horrible. Why do I think that it's okay for me to act like this,but not for him? 'Cos I'm a fucking selfish bitch,obviously.I take him for granted sooooo much but one day he's going to realise that he can do MUCH better,that there are girls out there,prettier,smarter,wittier than I am who'll let him do whatever the feck he wants.And when he leaves I'll be heartbroken.Wondering why I never did anything.

That's why now I have to change..I HAVE to.He says that I'm perfect the way I am,but I'm not changing drastically,just going to become a better person.For him.Because he deserves it.

What a random blogpost I must say..meh

Love is a strange thing.I myself haven't had the best luck with it in the past,but now things seem to be going pretty good.But my heart goes out to those who have major trouble with it,especially some of my friends.. It's one of those problems where you simply can't help them. What can you do? Be there for them,tell them that in the end it'll all be okay,but does that even help?

I feel so helpless when in situations like those,when you know you're powerless,that you can't do anything..all you can really do is wish them the best..but DOES that help?

And on that note,I must be off,

Cheerio x.x.x.x.x