When a Heart Breaks It Doesn't Break Even.

I know I basically abandoned this blog in favour of a newer one,but I miss this one too much to just leave it (and the other one wasn't going too well..).

Anyway,I guess you could say I do have quite a lot of news to share with you since the last time I've blogged. Well,Christmas was a very dramatic holiday, with my great-granda passing away, and my boyfriend and I breaking up (this all happened within the space of two days may I add) and I must say that in that week I didn't see the point in anything anymore, and this was mainly to do with Macker and I breaking up. Like obviously I was upset over my granda, but he was 95, he had led a fantastic life and we all knew his time was up soon, so I guess you could say we were expecting it to happen, which made it a tad more easier to handle.
But me and Macker? Wasn't expecting that at all. And I'm not saying that because "ooh I think I'm so amazing that no one would fucking dare break up with me", I'm definately not saying that.It's just..and I've said this so many times before, but in the week he broke up with me he wasn't acting any different than before, he still came out to me everyday, still kissed me, still said he loved me.. so it was quite unexpected.
And in the Church at my granda's funeral? I'll never forget it. I cried, cried so so so much. And why? It wasn't just for my granda, it was for me and Macker and I'll NEVER forget that. I feel so guilty, bur it was hard. Macker broke up with me two days after my granda passed away so my head was pretty messed up, and I didn't know which thing I should have tried to get over first.
And you can all say that I shouldn't have been so upset over Macker, that I was 15, that I didn't love him blah blah fucking blah. Loving someone doesn't depend on how old you are? And love IS fucking real, to anyone who thinks otherwise. Love is an amazing thing when both parties experience it, but when the other person feels different, it's horrible. And I truly thought he felt the same, he said he did.. but you learn from your mistakes. Scrap that, he wasn't a mistake. You learn from your experiences, and I'll never regret being with him. I'm not expecting to ever get back with him, and I'm happy to know that we'll remain friends. He didn't do anything wrong, he didn't love me, he had the right to end it. The only thing I wish he had done was to have ended it at a more appropriate time.

But..aside from my granda and Macker, the holidays have actually been pretty kickass. New Years ar Dave's was awesome (although I DID block his sink with puke..sorry Dave) and we had a fucking awesome day in Louis's the other day. Although I do want to apologise on everyone's behalf for him being grounded indefinately for it :S But yeah,Christmas was pretty awesome! And I've made a couple of new friends, one of them being very important to me (Sarah Breen,I love you!) and I've gotten to spend time with some of my older friends, whom I also love dearly.

And boys?.. well, let's not mention them. Did some stuff I regret, some stuff I don't remember.. yeah,let's not talk about it?

Byee x.x.x