You Brought It On Yourself

"Self-Inflicted Loneliness"

Yep, that's the best way to put it, and it's awesome to hear that YOU were the one that came up with that phrase

Kids, I think she JUST might be getting the message!

Toodles xoxo

Lies Lies, I Know They Are, Don't Lie

So, more shit happened today. I was on msn, talking to my friends when Sabrina starts talking to me. Innocently enough I talk back, it's only Sabrina,what harm could it do?

Well, when it turned out that it wasn't actually Sabrina, but Lucy, Dave and their 2 other "friends", shit happened.

I just told them to fuck off and not waste my time. You could understand where I was coming from, right? They were obviously looking for a fight, that's what simple people like them do. They have nothing better to do with their sad, sad lives.

They started the taunting and I wasn't going to write back, I was going to be the bigger person. But then I thought to myself, I can turn this shit around. I CAN show them who's the bigger person..but i'll do it in another way. Let's just say my replies to their taunts made them look like fools (and by the way? their taunts were pretty shit anyway haha)

They started off saying I was gay. Oh! Burn! As if I gave 2 shits. That's why I've had several boyfriends, one of them lasting 5, nearly 6 months, and Lucy has had none? (i'm not going to even consider counting her pathetic relationships with Jonny and Glenn). Yes, because I'M gay. Then they said, well your boyfriend didn't like you anyway. Yes guys, that's why he pleaded with me not to break up with him, cos he hated me (i'm only trying to prove a point, not trying to sound big-headed and saying that i'm better than he was or anything).

Then they called me ugly. I never said I was pretty so I REALLY didn't give a fuck.

Then they told me that I was jealous of Buttons (my ex) and Niamh. Yes, jealous of the guy who I barely wanted to go out with in the first place? Sure, why not. My comeback was something along the lines of.. How can I be the one obsessed with Buttons? Surely you all know about how Lucy became depressed when he went out with Aoife, and how she wrote blogs about how much she loved him? Yes, because I'M obsessed with him (btw that's true about Lucy and Buttons lawl, poor Buttons =[ )

Then they said some stupid shit about how my mam was good in bed. OH!!!! What a frickin' good insult haha

Then they started going on about how Lucy could get more boyfriends than me. I told them that I didn't mean to sound big-headed, but I knew MANY a guy that fancy me, and any guy I ask don't fancy Lucy cos they say she's a heartless, self absorbed bitch that wears too much make up..hmm..

Then I said if they didn't believe me, they could ask Dave, because that's what Dave told me once when I asked him if he fancied Lucy. Then? They signed out!

Best thing was? Dave was there, probably feeling soooo embarrassed. I'd have loved to be there, to have been able to experience the damn hostility.

And if they don't believe that Dave said that? They can ask my friends who were there when he said it on msn at my friend Aishling's sleepover, I'm sure it's saved on her computer somewhere..

Oh yeh, and one of the main reasons why guys usually avoid Lucy when it come to going out with her, is because of the way she "let's them down".

Examples:

She told Ruairi, this guy from youth club who is extremely sensitive, that she was a lesbian (when she knew and was clearly not one). She left him crying, myself and some other friends had to help him realise taht she wasn't worth it.

Then she told a guy called Matthew, who, I add, is slightly rotund, that she wouldn't go out with him because "she couldn't see past the fat flabs". Matthew is only 12/13 and I doubt being told THAT made his life any damn easier. And she thought she was funny when she said that but no one else fucking thought so.

Those are SOME of the examples of why guys don't really like Lucy in that way, so I wasn't being mean I was just being honest. She thinks she's too good for all of them, but I'm pretty damn sure that Dave will soon be an exception.

Well I'm guessing you all know now that I'm not Dave's friend either? lawl, I wasn't planning on not being his friend cos I thought he was a nice guy, but after we told him that we weren't going to be friends with Lucy he launched into a massive rant about how we had no right to and shit. He hasn't even known Lucy for a fucking MONTH, who the hell is he to judge? It's not as if we even told him to stop being friends with her! Oh yeh, and THAT fight? It was with my friend Merissa, a twelve year old. He's nearly 17, and he picked a fight with a 12 year old? Then he totally contradicted himself yesterday. On msn he was going on about how immature Merissa was and then he texted me, telling me he thought she was too mature for her age and that she should act like a kid. Wtf? Make up your mind dude! HE'S the fucking immature one!

Oh and Lucy, regarding your blog, that weird, sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? It's call regret. Regret for what you have become, or more like have always been, regret for all the friends you lost, and regret for having numerous chances and not using them to the most of their ability.

Regret

Ahhhh, such a sweet sweet feeling, when it's not you experiencing it

Toodles xoxoxo

Too Happy For Words =]

Well I'm not friends with Lucy again. I'm glad that I get to announce this lawl, I've been wanting to end our friendship (Lucy's) for ages now and finally my friends and I plucked up the courage to do it.

Both groups said some hurtful things to each other, but then Lucy did something REAL bitchy. She started talking to my 12 year old sister on msn. She was real biased, telling my sister what I said to Lucy, but not saying WHY I said it. She made me seem like the bad person. Like, how low can you go? She tried to turn my own SISTER against me? How much bitchier can you get? My sister isnt listening to Lucy thank god, but that has just made me hate her even more.

Anyways..I'm just happy to say Im not her friend, now the group I am in is finally perfect =]

Bitchy yes... but so was Lucy

And she admits it, so why cant I? It's only fair xD

Toodles xoxoxo

Karma Is A Whore

Well.. I dumped Dave.

It doesn't seem THAT bad I guess, seeing as I wasn't dumped like..but I really did like Dave. Some of the obvious reasons for me dumping him were like, because he told me on several occasions that he didnt think the relationship would last and when he said that, I didnt see the point in continuing the relationship etc. I have other reasons too..but I cant tell you them, cos I havent even told HIM them lawl!

Everyone was all like "Why did you dump him? He was so hot! If you liked him that much you should have waited to get dumped!"

Ha! Wait to BE dumped? I really was not that desperate! And the other reasons why I dumped him..well, they couldnt really be resolved..

And now I feel really lonely. I know that sounds SOOO sad and pathetic and I resent myself for feeling this way, but I cant help it :(

But there's not much I can do I guess..

Better new-Im going to France tomorrow!

Wont be back til Wednesday so will talk to you again then

Bye! xoxo

Shit Happens I Guess x

Well.. as you all may have heard, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months last week. Was a pretty messed up story though. I broke up with him last Monday, then I got back with him on the Thursday, then I broke up with him again the following day. You may all think I'm just a whore who has a constant changing mind..and you may be right, but I had my reasons for breaking up with him yet again, and I believe that going out with him the second time WAS a mistake :(

I would like to say that the break up was mutual, I really would but that would be a blatant lie. It WAS pretty messy, I must admit.. but I hope we can still be friends, even though everytime we talk we seem to get into fights..

I also started going out with Dave. Now I KNOW what you're all thinking "Oh god Keeva, do you have any regards towards Scott's feelings? That you would go and flaunt someone else in front him so soon?" Well that's NOT the case. Scott actually told Dave on several occasions that he could go out with me. I didn't NEED Scott's permission, but it was good to know that he was okay with it.

So.. Missa and Jonny are going out, and they are the most cutest thing ever! They are inseperable whenever they are together, but Missa doesn't get to see him as much as she'd like to as his parents are an ickle bit strict :S

And Keith and Fiona are also going out. They actually cannnot keep their hands off each other, it's kinda scary.. lawl, but they are soooo cute together xD

And I'm going to Paris with my school next Sunday for 4 days!! This will actually only be my second time abroad so it's gonna be uber-awesome!! Aishling + Niamh = Best Roomies Ever!!

School is gay as usual.. but I FINALLY figured out how to use the sewing machine!! I am actually so fucking proud of myself seeing as last year I had NO idea how to use it and got my mam to do practically all of my home-ec project lawl xD

I'm going to see Metallica in August.. I don't exactly know WHY seeing as I don't like them all that much but meh, it's something to do I guess :P

And..I think that's all I gotta say

So I shall tee tee y elle

SHIT!
I just spilled my glass of lemonade over!!
GRRR!!!!!!!!!! =[

Anyways... toodles!! xoxoxoxo

Oh Fuck.... I Was Right

God.. I feel like I've had a premonition...

Ok, let me explain it to all you kinda confused peeps. Remember my last post, where I briefly described how I didn't feel that 2009 was going to be a good year, and I really had no reason to think that? Well... Let's just say that so far, I've been right about it being pretty shit. I don't want to go into intimate details, because I don't feel like telling you (haha, nosey bitches :P ) but.. the year so far has been pretty fucked up.

Sometimes I literally feel like I just can't handle it anymore.. That it's all just become a bit too much... but don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself or anything, that's just too drastic and I have too much to live for. In my family, there is a long history of suicides, my mam thinks it might be a genetic thing, that it may be passed on to some family members.. It kinda scares me that it may have been passed on to me, so I have to avoid thinking about suicide at all costs, just in case I decide that it's "a good idea" (which it is NOT!!).

I have to admit something.. it's not that bad, but I have to admit that when I hear about some of my friends contemplating suicide over the most minimal things, it really pissed me off and upsets me. Their reasons for "wanting" to kill themselves are so petty, not even real problems. They don't realise that there are actually people around them who have real problems, and I just find the idea of suicide really selfish. Any problem can be sorted out, it may take some time but it can be sorted out.

And I find it sickening that some people I know can let the words "I want to kill myself" slip out of their mouths so fucking easily, as if it's just a normal thing to say. This may sound bad, but let me tell you something. If you REALLY wanted to kill yourself you would go and do it, you wouldn't be talking to other people about how you want to do it, you would just do it. That's not saying that I think everyone who's come up to me, saying they wanted to kill themselves should do it but do you get what I mean?

Sorry about that rant.. but I kinda wanted to stray away from my own personal issues lol, and please no one take offence from this post if it invloves you, it's just my opinion

Toodles x

New Year=Bad

This is going to be a really quick/short post. Em.. for some reason I keep getting the feeling that 2009 isn't going to be a good year for me, I don't know why it wouldn't be, but I just have a feeling that it won't be.. Fingers crossed my thoughts are wrong, and it's a brilliant year I just have this annoying, nagging feeling that it won't be.. :(