Oh Fuck.... I Was Right

God.. I feel like I've had a premonition...

Ok, let me explain it to all you kinda confused peeps. Remember my last post, where I briefly described how I didn't feel that 2009 was going to be a good year, and I really had no reason to think that? Well... Let's just say that so far, I've been right about it being pretty shit. I don't want to go into intimate details, because I don't feel like telling you (haha, nosey bitches :P ) but.. the year so far has been pretty fucked up.

Sometimes I literally feel like I just can't handle it anymore.. That it's all just become a bit too much... but don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself or anything, that's just too drastic and I have too much to live for. In my family, there is a long history of suicides, my mam thinks it might be a genetic thing, that it may be passed on to some family members.. It kinda scares me that it may have been passed on to me, so I have to avoid thinking about suicide at all costs, just in case I decide that it's "a good idea" (which it is NOT!!).

I have to admit something.. it's not that bad, but I have to admit that when I hear about some of my friends contemplating suicide over the most minimal things, it really pissed me off and upsets me. Their reasons for "wanting" to kill themselves are so petty, not even real problems. They don't realise that there are actually people around them who have real problems, and I just find the idea of suicide really selfish. Any problem can be sorted out, it may take some time but it can be sorted out.

And I find it sickening that some people I know can let the words "I want to kill myself" slip out of their mouths so fucking easily, as if it's just a normal thing to say. This may sound bad, but let me tell you something. If you REALLY wanted to kill yourself you would go and do it, you wouldn't be talking to other people about how you want to do it, you would just do it. That's not saying that I think everyone who's come up to me, saying they wanted to kill themselves should do it but do you get what I mean?

Sorry about that rant.. but I kinda wanted to stray away from my own personal issues lol, and please no one take offence from this post if it invloves you, it's just my opinion

Toodles x