Oh How Tv Shows Make Us Feel Shit..

Hello there earthlings,I use the term loosely..
Well today I woke up to the sound of my brother hammering out the tiles in the bathroom.What a pleasant thing to hear at 10 in the morning.. So I went downstairs,desperate for somewhere to go where I wouldn't hear the wretched noise.So the sitting room seemed like quite a good place to me.

If only I knew that it would soon depress the shit outta me ><

I was watching Maury,desperate to have a glimpse at the lives of someone more unfortunate than me. But of course,it had to be one of the happier shows,you know the ones where they make people's lives better? Yes my dears,I hate those ones too.

So there was this one woman who was to be reunited with a man she was once in love with when she was 16.She was 36 now may I add.Anyway,she gained contact with him again through the wonder that is the internet.And it turned out that this man,whom she hadn't spoken to in 20 years felt the exact way she felt for him and when he came on the show he declared his love for her,proposed and yada yada you get the rest.

Why did this make me feel shit,I hear you ask.Well it's just the fact that..you know,I wish someone would care for me as much as those two cared for each other.They hadn't seen each other in 20 years and still their love for each other stood the test of time.How I wish something like that would happen to me..*insert dramatic pose here* Oh don't worry,I know that I'm only 14 (15 nearly may I add,as if that makes much of a difference) and that I have PLENTY of time to look for love,but it still got to me.Recently Keevs' love life hasn't been the best,and she's taking a break from it for awhile (unless of course someone just TOO amazing comes along..).And I know it sounds so sappy,and is such an idiotic thing to get remotely upset about but..it's times like these where seeing other people happy makes me..unhappy.

Oh how melancholy has this post become, "I hate seeing other people happy".

But it's not the fact that I'm not happy,I actually am.I have great friends..well,at the moment anyway.I love my family and you know,life is good at the moment.But there have been a few things during the last month or so that have knocked me down,and I'm still picking up the pieces.

Ah sure,things will be back to normal soon enough,as they always are.Keevs always has her ways of sorting things out..This time should be no different.

I Love You All
Especially You ;)
Toodles xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm Such A Sap!

Oh my God, I'm such a sap. I read the last blog that I wrote, where I was really sad and was talking about how my friends helped me through tough times, and I started crying! God, I'm so sad haha. I'm not saying that what I said in the blog wasn't true, I'm just saying like.. I cried? haha

Me and Dyllie have finally gotten over our shyness! I've known him since like January and we could never talk in person because we were both so shy but now, finally, we're able to talk! Yay!! XD

I'm supposed to be going to Liffey Valley on Saturday with my friend Kate. I've known her for like 2 years and she lives relatively close to me but I've NEVER seen her! haha, don't worry though folks, she IS real =P So yeh, should be awesome =)

I'm making a chocolate biscuit cake in home-ec tomorrow! Gonna be so yummy!

And FINALLY I understand my maths! Well, the bit that we're on now anyways lol. I'm in honours btw, it's mad hard and I'm only in second year like so it's gonna get WAYY harder!

I untuned my guitar by accident.. and I dunno how to tune it back so I'm screwed! haha, my grandad says he's gonna try and get my a Fender. I can't play all too good, but he offered to get me one for free, I was hardly going to say no, was I? lawl

So yeh, you've all probably noticed that I'm far more happier than I was in the last post, and you'd be right! I'm going to make the most of it too XD

On a more serious note.. a lot of people in Kildare have been committing suicide lately.

First it was some girl in Maynooth, then it was a girl who used to be in my friend Jemma's class in primary and next was a girl who was in 6th class in Laura and Merissa's primary school.

And someone told me that they all knew each other, which I find really strange, seeing as they all killed themselves within weeks, even days of each other. Now, I'm not 100% sure that they all knew each other, but many people have been saying that have. So, is there like some conspiracy going on? I'm not joking when I say that, making fun of the situation, I'm actually wondering. Maybe not as much if they didn't know each other, but if they did.. maybe something's going on?

Anywayys I gotta run, my friend is trying to get me to tell him my bra size but I won't lawl. Random? Yes
True? Unfortunately..

I'm not gonna tell him though lol

Toodle!!

<3>

Meh and Yeh.. and Meh, I Dunno

Yeh, for the past week I've been getting upset randomly and I have no idea why. People keep telling me it's hormones but I think it's more than that.

I shouldn't have been too mad in the playground, all my bones hurt now and it sucks lawl, I'm too old (even though I'm only 14 haha ).

I got off school early on Tueday cos I was sick (I was more upset than sick, but let's just say I was sick).

And today (Thursday) I didn't go to school cos I was sick too.

My mam thinks I'm being bullied lawl, but I'm actually not!

She also thinks that I should go to a counsellor and tbh, I'm considering it.

Youth club tomorrow! Woohoo!

I get to see all my awesome friends!

And I'm probably going to town this weekend too, which should also be awesome :P

nothing more to say.. oh btw, I'm trying to play guitar again (not going too good haha)

Toodles!

<3>

LAURA'S BACK FROM THE LAND OF OBAMA!! YAY!!!!!!! =)

Just thought I'd express my feelings on her return lawl x

Today we all just watched Role Models in Fiona's house, was pretty awesome, the nerdy guy from SuperBad was in it, AND Jorma from The Lonely Island!! You should have heard us all scream when he came on haha =) Oh, and Missa, Ash and me all recorded a vid of us singing the AwesomeTown song, I was Akiva for OBVIOUS reason haha!

Me and Missa decided that we're going to make our own world called Humpia, and we will be called Humpians XD

Peeps who were at Fifi's house were... (let me see if I can remember them all lawl)
Fiona, Me, Laura, Aishling, Merissa, Aoife, Chris, Glenn, Shane, Ali, G, Cliff and Keith? I think that was it lawl :P

So yeh, we had a pretty good day, Missa made me go out in the freezing rain to meet up with Shane without a jacket or an umbrella!! I wouldn't be surprised if I get pneumonia lawl!! :S

And I made up with a friend today, who I thought I had lost. Not gonna mention their name but I'm just glad that most shit has been sorted out =]

School next week!!! Grrrr!!!! Please shoot me =[

My heart keeps hurting, and not in the pathetic emo poetic way (that sounded cool!! =O ) but like there's something wrong with it.. I'm kinda scared :S

And for some reason lately I've been feeling down for no apparent reason and it's really messed up, I don't wanna be sad! I wanna be happy like everyone else!! =(

Nothing else really happened today..tomorrow I'm probs just hanging out with friends and shizz again :P

Oh and btw, please check out Kitty's (my friend Kate's) blog on bebo. She has awesome taste in music and this blog should give you an insight to all the deadly new and upcoming bands XD

http://www.bebo.com/BlogView.jsp?MemberId=123165047&BlogId=9070031744

Why Do I Feel Like Shit All The Time?? :(

I don't know.. it just seems that all this week I've been feeling completely shit about myself, for various but not valid reasons. Hmm... at this point in time I can't even remember what the reasons are, and that's making me feel even more shit! I'm constantly feeling sorry for myself, even though I know others around me have MUCH bigger problems. I guess this just comes with being a teenager.. and it sucks sooooooooooo much. Being a teenager is different for everyone, some people find it more easier than others and people, like me, HATE it. It's such a confusing stage in a person's life, they're not a child but they're still not yet an adult. I don't even know why I'm feeling sorry for myself.. I guess, it's not exactly that I'm moaning "Oh, my life is SO shit, everything's going wrong for me" cos it's not, you know? I guess I'm just generally upset, I'm very emotional at the moment lol x Oh, it'll pass, it has to, cos it's nothing really. Just sometimes I'm scared to talk to friends in case I say something I shouldn't, cos when I'm in a pissy mood I usually say stuff I shouldn't, that I'll regret later. I am seriously confused now, as I write I'm just confusing myself even more. Am I upset? Am I angry? Am I feeling sorry for myself? Or am I just in a general everyday bad mood, but this time it's lasting longer? I have NO fucking idea, but I'm gonna stop writing now and update this later, when I'm thinking straight. God, I don't even want to read over this post.. It's probably just really messed up lol, toodles ;) xx